Which Comes First – Compatibility Or Love?

People think once you love each other then that’s all that’s needed or matters. Certainly it is the romanticism and idealism that is in all of us to believe that. However the reality is you need to start with compatibility first then everything else will flow from there and fall into place.

Why relationships fail

Typically relationships all around you start out with what they think is love. They fall in love or lust, then either the relationship fizzles out after a while, or they move in together or even marry, then the relationship breaks down and they split and divorce.

But what is the big thing that’s missing? Why did the relationship end up finishing like that? Certainly you when you hear of celebrity couples that have split many relationship experts and social commentators all put their own views out on what happened. Reasons put forward range from work kept them away from each other, they couldn’t get along with each other’s circle of friends, one had anger issues, or not fitting into each other’s lives.

The truth is that all these reasons are actually a symptom of a much larger underlying fundamental problem. Now to cut through it all, the reason why these and all relationships fail is simply that the partners were never compatible to begin with.

All relationships that start without the parties being truly compatible to begin with, will not go the distance.

Just like if you were to build a building. Starting from the ground up, if you did not pour cement for the foundations but started to build then that building is not going to last and will definitely topple over sooner rather than later.

What you need for a relationship to last

So for a relationship to last – like building a building, you need to start with the foundations which you can build on. The foundations will then support the relationship and continue to support the love. Compatibility is the foundation and therefore it must come before love. For once you have compatibility the love will automatically come. For the more compatible you are, the better you will get along, and the more you get along with someone the more you like them. Feelings will then develop and develop deeply, and the love will continue as it is constantly supported by the foundations.

If you only start with what you think is love then the love will fall away without any support by the foundations.

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