How does your partner treat you when you are ill?

For better or for worse…in sickness and in health…do people only say it? Do they really understand it? Do they believe in it, will they do it? Can they do it?

Now it is very easy to do for better and in health part, but how many people can do the worse and in sickness?

This is very important as should being a partner in life means going through everything together, supporting each other throughout and weathering the difficulties out together.

When you are ill

When you are ill, or in a low point in your life that is when you really need your partner. When you are ill you physically can’t do a lot of things and may even be helpless. You are in a vulnerable state and not only can’t you take care of things and everyone that you usually do, you in turn also need to be taken care of.

Now the big question is can they and will they step up to it? How they treat you when you are ill tells you everything about if they will be there for you when you go through bad times.

Are they there to take care of you when you are ill or they have better things to do and can’t be bothered? This show of indifference really hurts as this is the time when you really need the comfort of your partner and to feel their love.

Your appearance would also suffer during this time. Not only are you not dressing up or putting on make-up while you are in bed but also your illness affects your appearance as well. If you feel worried about what your partner would think seeing you like this then it is an indicator to you that you are not confident that your partner loves you enough that your illness doesn’t affect their love. Certainly if seeing you like this is an issue for them then they will certainly not have the will to support you through this.

Perhaps they may get angry with you for being illness and becoming burden and nuisance. Do you get a sense of that? Maybe feel some sort of resentment from your partner that you have inconvenienced them through your illness? If you do then it does not bode well for the long term together as life will always bring up difficulties and inconveniences. It may even show that they lack the life skills and ability to handle more challenging situations in life like how to deal with an ill partner, how to look after them. If they are incompetent enough not to be able to handle it then they may not even notice that you are ill.

It is all easy enough to do the good times, but how many people can do the bad time? This would show the quality of the person they are. Sort out the men from the boys so to speak. Also shows how much they care and love you.

Angry for being ill

Angry for being ill

When you are under stress

How your partner treats you when you are ill is also a good indicator of if they will support you when you are at your low point in other areas of your life.

When in a low point in your life or going through a very stressful time that is also when you need support. Imagine you are having difficulty at work, you already have a lot on your mind and may even have to stay back at work. Would your partner be understanding of this and support you? And letting you destress by listening to you is nice, but you need much more than that from your partner. They may say they understand and have empathy for you but do they back it up with the actions that you really need? When you are under this situation that is when you need your partner to do more such as acknowledge you have less time by doing more housework, do the cooking so you at least have a hot meal when you finally get home. If they are able then they could take some of the load off by doing some of your work.

Take notice what your partner does the next time you are ill as it would also be a strong indicator of how you will be treated when you are at your most vulnerable in all aspects of your life.

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